this is your captain speaking...

Today we drove for a long, long time and during the drive, Alyssa pulled out her microphone and said over and over and over and over ...

"Turn left at the statue of liberty. This is your captain speaking. If you want some candy, go in the back and dig for it. Arooooooo!"

After awhile Jaiden declared, "I'm bored"
And then seconds later and out of the blue he asked...
"Wait do you have Netflix?"

As we drive through the middle of this...

found...

It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict.

Patience is not waiting passively until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient, we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later, and somewhere else. Be patient and trust that the treasure you are looking for is hidden in the ground on which you stand.

–Henri J. M. Nouwen

I had forgotten that I started this post back in December amongst all the business December brings. We were having fun, doing our December things and all sorts of things too but I felt low. Incredibly low. Everyday I thought of my brother, often in tears, I prayed silently anytime I thought of him. But something about December couldn't be cheerful when I knew what he was and is still going through. On one of those low days, I found this quote and now I can't remember where I found it but it spoke to me. Just like Alyssa's angel earlier in December. I decided to post it even though now I am in a different place. It's a beautiful quote and I think it can speak to us each differently. I still worry incessantly about my brother but so many happy things are happening and with the arrival of Casen, it is just delightful. Now if I could just get over this cold and get myself back out there to visit, it would be even better!

dear santa

A little story about this story before I start...

when Jaiden got home from school my computer was on the counter, and while it had "fallen" asleep this was fine. But when I woke it up, the last screen I was on happened to be ebay and a photo of this girl Ninjago Nya. Jaiden immediately recognized the packaging and our conversation went...

J: Hey, that's the girl Ninjago, are you going to get her for Alyssa?

M: (a little freaked because Santa was trying to get Nya for Alyssa's stocking) No, I was just looking to see if I could find her. She's out of stock again.

M: (and then quickly followed with) I may have to put in a note to Santa that Alyssa would really like one and maybe Santa could find one for her.

 J: do you think Santa could get me Cole? I would really like Cole.

M: (thinking he meant "coal") I thought you didn't want coal because all the presents go away? 

J: NO, Cole. It's a Ninjago person.

M: Oh, I didn't know that.

And yet ANOTHER lie because funny enough that is what Santa just order from eBay to put in their stockings. Except I didn't know the one I had order was Cole until afterwards when I checked. I am telling you this time of the year is very difficult for me. I have the hardest time not telling the exact truth and it makes me crazy. And the worst part is the truth is mixed in with the lies. For example, I did have to go to eBay to get both characters because the Lego store is out of stock on both of them, but not eBay... it is a constant dodging from the truth, and for me, a very difficult task! Thankfully Santa only fills stockings in this house so I don't have to even try to hide, disguise, mislead large items from Santa! 

But anyway, Jaiden appeared a little later with a piece of paper and a half written letter to Santa. He asked if I could help him spell Ninjago and the names of the ones he and Alyssa would like so I set him up at the Lego.com while I cooked dinner.

He got a little sidetracked checking out new Legos sets that just showed up but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to get a photo of him. He looked so serious and he knew exactly how to maneuver my new computer without me telling him.

... and his note in the background. It reads:

Dear Santa, 

I want Lego Ninjago Cole, Jay and Nya for Alyssa and me.

I kind of groaned when I saw want but then my heart melted when I saw he had asked for Alyssa too?! Then he drew a sweet little photo of Santa by our fireplace with 4 stockings hung saying HO HO HO! and tucked it into his stocking. I will have to get a photo of this tomorrow but it is WAY to dark at the moment, and plus I am too lazy to set up the tripod, and dial out the flash compensation... and so it waits until morning! 

sweetness

... in more ways than one, that is sweetness!

I still adore watching Alyssa sit with Jaiden on the couch while he reads. Something about that sweetness and the closeness that she craves from him is adorable, and he doesn't seem to mind either. This morning he was working on his reading homework and not even reading aloud to her, but she snuggled in and peered over his shoulders to look at the photos. It did help that he was reading a comic book of sorts, which is apparently the latest rage for boys. 

Then it was off to town where I dragged them to go to a handmade indie market... oh, let me tell you the lovelies were lovely there. I was in awe of the talent and the kids managed to do... um, sort of well ... enough to earn a treat that even I couldn't resist.

Alyssa chose the gingerbread man one... something about biting of his head was particularly amusing to her?! I think I should be worried. While Jaiden chose the one with the sugared cranberry on top. His was eggnog cranberry... such sophisticated tastes for a 7 year old. I also bought a peppermint chocolate one and an extra eggnog cranberry because it sounded so yummy.

Then it was off to yoga and more play time at home. I did manage to get my Christmas cards almost done, which I am really excited about since I was feeling quite behind. Normally, I do them when we visit my dad for Thanksgiving but this year I was nowhere near ready. In fact the photo I had planned didn't even happen and I came up with a different one altogether. They will be in the mail tomorrow after I pick up some more stamps!

penguins...

Last year it was snowmen, this year it is penguins!

Jaiden's penguin platter. He was very careful about trying to keep the black, black and the white, white, etc. When he finished, he asked if his could be a cookie plate like Alyssa's snowman from last year? I am excited I will get to use it!

Alyssa also chose a penguin but hers is an ornament. In fact, she was able to paint 3 ornaments so she chose a penguin, an ice skating bunny and a big round ball that she painted pink with yellow polka dots... I will be curious to see how that one comes out!

paper dolls

About a week ago, Alyssa made a paper doll, cut her out, colored her and then cut scrap material for a dress... it blew Dennis' and me away. I had wanted to share it back when she first did it but then with my computer problems lately, it was put on the back burner... but here she is...

her first paper doll... look at the details. She even drew toes, never mind I think I counted 7 toes on the REALLY big foot and only 4 on the tiny foot, but wow! 

This morning I came downstairs to find this little mess on my kitchen counter...

3 new paper dolls, that she must have started when I was on the phone last night with my mom. So now we have a family...

Daddy 

(his foot isn't really cut off, it was hard to hold at arms distance)

Mommy in her "marrying" dress 

(this is Alyssa's latest fascination "marrying")

and Jaiden

(I mean, doesn't that look like him? Tall and skinny!)

I chuckled as I sat down to post these photos tonight and happened to look over and find those cute little elephants from last year that Jaiden cut out around this time of the year for him and Alyssa. I truly am in awe of their creativity!

my sweet angel

This morning was our normal mad dash out the door except this week, it has been complicated with intense dressing for very cold weather (our morning temps have been near zero and even below when I left for yoga yesterday!). Needless to say it involves lots of layering. But the mad dash is what it is, however, today I could feel the rise of anxiety as I have so many things I need to get done and things are not happening the way I would like them to be. After dropping Jaiden and Alyssa off, I went about my typical business but this also involves the extra step of getting the car started and warmed up... I know it's a long story, however, follow me with this... my anxiety was mounting and as I started to pull out of the driveway, I caught a glimpse of this...

a snow angel made by Alyssa.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.

 It gently reminded me of her fascination and desire to drop everything and make a snow angel  (where ever there is a patch of smooth snow) regardless of what is going on or how late we are to school. 

It gently reminded me to take a deep breath and breathe, to be grateful, to notice all the beauty around me, and well, to slow down. 

I did.

Slow down that is. And surprisingly that anxiety attack that was coming on strong and engulfing me just moments before I saw this sweet angel was gone.

If you could see how much snow is on our front lawn, and how it isn't easy to spot the snow angel or for that matter anything else except the poor lavender bush desperately trying to stick out, yet in that brief moment that angel spoke to me.

May you find the angel awaiting to speak to you!

twinkling light

The kids were completely intrigued as Mommy took all the eggs out of the egg carton, placed them in a bowl and started replacing the empty slots with ornaments. They watched intently as I got totally caught up in one of my assignments for the online class I am taking called Art of Composition (the link is attached to the blog button on the right side, would highly recommend it if she offers it again). 

My original plan was this one or something similar to this... but it wasn't working quite right.

So I added some color with a few reds and two greens, then the magic appeared... those beautiful balls of light called bokeh. I had created the magic and yet, honestly it was a delightful spontaneous surprise.

This is the one I submitted for my assignment. I liked the focus on the two in front, intermixed with that magical bokeh.

Twinkle the halls... 'tis the season for lots of sparkle!

ho ho ho

I am going to cheat today because, well, I can!

Today was a typical busy December day but much to our disappointment our hemophilia annual holiday party was canceled due to the snow and below freezing conditions. We decided to plow forward and headed to a "far away" mall to do a little bit of Christmas shopping.

The kids did a bit of shopping with daddy while I dashed off to a different store, and the we met up to visit Santa. As we were in line, Dennis took the following photo and sent via his iPod the following:

"We were in line to see Santa at the mall today and found this bench."

ps I promise to return tomorrow with a scanned illegal copy so you can see what will be coming your way soon!

helping mommy

this is my helper...

... actually she helped quite a bit as we cleaned the whole downstairs, the floors, dusting and lot more to prepare for a tree. i decided to change locations this year and instead of putting it in front of the corner windows, we are putting it in a different corner of our family room.

in the meantime, my helper took a break from the handwork of decorating!

ps. if this looks a little strange in your email box or here on the blog, please let me know. my new computer arrived and i am totally trying out various features such as iPhoto, but sadly i don't know how it translates over yet.

can we have our chocolate?

hello december!

we have been waiting all year for you to return, well, the kids have at least so when the littlest woke, the first thing she asked was "can we have our chocolate?"

sure why not? what a way to start a school morning - send them off with a mini sugar high!

but actually it is a tradition daddy started many years ago... 

the delightful chocolate advent calendar

(thank God for daddies and grandparents!)

enjoying their yummy morning chocolate treat...

then it was hello snow on the 1st of december

and some bitter cold, lots of blowing snow

so when Alyssa asked to ride in the sled, I took the opportunity to put their bags of non-perishable foods for the school food drive in the sled and have them pull it to school.

it worked beautifully until i had to pick them up from school

and pull alyssa home uphill knee deep snow...

so december, we welcome you with chocolate and gratefulness