Today, Jaiden had his annual hemophilia intensive clinic visit. This year it was only Jaiden and I that went, Alyssa had school and then an afternoon with Daddy but that is a different story and not the one I want to capture... yet or maybe at all since I have no clue what they did! The intensive clinic visit is just that. We have to be at the clinic at 8:15 am which means leaving the house at 6:45am, and then it typically takes between 4 to 5 hours before we are done and then another long drive home. It is also a visit filled with anxiety because for me, it means I will either be told to continue as is or add in another day of prophy treatment but for Jaiden, his anxiety is entirely and typically surrounded on the sole fact that he will be poked. This year was different.
This year, when Dr. Marilyn came in, they talked - not her and I but her and Jaiden. She is an amazing doctor. She doesn't tell them what they can't do but she tells them what they can do. She talks a little bit about sports but she also talks about all the other wonderful things Jaiden can do as he grows in school such as being on a debate team that defends the constitution even venturing to Washington DC to compete in a national debate, she talks about the "wobble" effect of the planets and how we have opportunities to do camps in Alabama or Texas that simulate space training, she encourages finding activities that keep you fit and healthy like swimming or perhaps baseball. They start talking about goals and things he likes to do. He tell her when he gets older he wants to be an Eagle Scout, how he likes baseball and golf but being an Eagle Scout will be his goal.
She talks about camp and how it is important to start setting goals for even things he can do at camp this year. She asks Jaiden what kind of goals might he consider for camp this year.
His response surprised me in some ways and in other ways, it demonstrates how much he has grown up. He tells her for camp this year he is going to try to poke himself. He says he is nervous and doesn't like the idea of it but he thinks he can at least try. I hold back tears as I watch how bravely he talks, and I am in awe to be experiencing this with him. She tells him that would be a great goal to have and she and his nurses will help him so will all the other boys he is with and surrounded by at camp.
So at age 7, Jaiden has made two serious goals - 1) be an Eagle Scout and 2) to try to poke himself this year at camp. I am pretty excited for him because I know he will work hard on these goals, but honestly I am a little nervous about the 2nd goal and how this year when he tries to poke himself and gets the encouragement, the cheering, clapping and whooping it up when he tries (because every time a boy finishes his prophy treatment at camp whether he pokes himself or not, the entire lodge breaks out in cheering and hollering) but what makes me nervous is when this happens, I will come to pick him up at the end of the week, and they will announce all the boys who tried poking themselves and bring them to the front of the lodge, I will probably burst into tears knowing how much more he grew up that week at camp.
